Help Me Save My Marriage – Here’s 5 Tips On How To Get Started
Have you been searching for advice to save your marriage? Have you been asking your friends to “Help me save my marriage?”
Help Me Save My Marriage Tip # 1: Commitment
In any relationship, commitment is the most essential tip if you want to answers to the statement help me save my marriage and for your marriage to last your entire life. Over the course of time, the passion and intensity softens and at times being married just does not seem so rewarding or fun any longer.
When it comes to help me save my marriage advice, various factors like changes each or both of you are going through and stress from life are some possible reasons for this. I see many couples that feel disconnected and like they are no longer ‘in love.’ In many long term relationships, this is fairly normal.
Having interviewed persons married for forty-years, many will say that there were some times that were not smooth. There is really no avoiding it. To maintain your marriage, and address your concern “help me save my marriage,” you will really need to make a marriage commitment that is way above the status quo. You need to do what it takes to make it last.
Help Me Save My Marriage Tip # 2: Personal Growth and Emotional Maturity
In essence, this means that each spouse in the marriage is willing to emotionally become more mature and grow personally in terms of recognizing what the other person needs and being willing to give their spouse that.
In “help me save my marriage,” each individual needs to be willing to develop a larger life purpose and take on their own personal growth. It can be big or little things that this involves. On the whole it is the striving for each person as individuals to make a partnership contribution. From time to time a strong question I like asking myself includes “What makes it worthwhile to be married to me?” Doing this, you won’t be saying “help me save my marriage” much longer.
Help Me Save My Marriage Tip # 3: After an Argument, Instead of Separation, Seek Reconnection
Research on what determines success in marriage by John Gottman has resulted in Help Me Save My Marriage tip number three. Moving not away but rather towards each other after arguing and also generally is the secret to solving problems and the key to relationship-repair. Often, what I notice with couples is the withdrawal from their spouse when they feel bad or when they feel a disconnection, they begin to live life separately. This is when they begin to say “help me save my marriage.”
Making a move towards rather than away from each other can be as simple as greeting your spouse with a hug or a kiss at the day’s end or laughing as you begin to stop arguing. This also means that when you are unhappy with something your partner did or said, your mind is working on repair and reconnection rather than building strong evidence against their cause! This way you won’t be saying “help me save my marriage” anytime soon.
Help Me Save My Marriage Tip # 4: Being Totally Responsible for Thoughts, Actions and Words About Your Marriage or Spouse
Thinking that marriage is a fifty-fifty deal is a myth. In the past years, the belief that spouses need to make a contribution to their marriage half has been the norm. Anyone married for long will soon be able to confirm this. Over the years, one does more of the housework and makes more of the money.
At times when one spouse is sick or is trying to advance their education or career, the other one picks up the slack for running errands or caring for children. This is what emotional maturity and love are all about. This marriage advice needs to be heard: Being fully one hundred-percent responsible means you are totally responsible for who you are and how you are in the marriage and that you are fully responsible to your partner, although not necessarily for them.
This means that with your words about your marriage to others or to your spouse, you are taking full care of your marriage. This also means when you’re angry, you are managing your negative thoughts. This also means blame needs to stop between you and for the sake of the partnership, you need to be willing to give up being ‘right.’
It also means having responsibility for your actions by being a true friend to each other, being loving and faithful. When you do this, you will be able to help those who say “help me save my marriage” as well.
Help Me Save My Marriage Tip # 5: Realize that Both of You Have Valid Viewpoints that Are Just Different
This advice on marriage may seem obvious but majority of the time, many of us think and speak like we know what’s true about things. We operate under the assumption that our world viewpoint is more true or ‘valid’ than others. This is funny, but above everything else, humans believe their own thoughts! Unfortunately, these are also the same human beings who say “help me save my marriage” pretty often!
Most of us will agree that it is from varying points of view that arguments stem from. However, these persist since there is no acknowledgement of the validity of the point of view of others. One thing I like practicing is this: “Okay, this is your viewpoint and here’s mine. What do I need from you to move forward from here, or which works best for the situation? This is more of a validation than just an “I see.”
Remember that this is not easy and is in my opinion, the hardest of these five tips. However, I have come to a realization that letting go of my viewpoint for the sake of my spouse really does give me freedom and causes me to be able to stop saying “help me save my marriage.”
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